Better Parent

Who is a good parent; A non working, totally committed, stay-at-home parent or a full time over achiever working parent? What makes a good parent? Is there a checklist to help or is there a book that when in doubt guides you through different junctions of life, helping you to make better choices for your kids? 

What is like being a parent? What is it like being responsible for a life; a life that you created?

There are tons of thoughts and ideas about nearing perfection of parenthood. For some its sacrificing their lives altogether and adding their twenty four hours of the day to their kids "Time Bank". For some its earning all the more and giving top brand things their kids need. 

Does not matter what path you take but every parent out there strives to be a better parent. This is how it should be.  But it is not. 

Feminism came into picture early 1900s; it tried to explain the naive and gave women freedom to do what they wanted to do. It strived to give women freedom of expression, justice and liberty in legal and educational areas. For generations this fire has grown wild , sparking every corner of the world. 

Just like every medicine comes with a list of side effects; this also had to have some ill effects around. Its been proved repeatedly women are master of multitasking. They can be the heart of their house while being the head of a unit at work. They have all the ability to do the best and be the best for both worlds. But those are very few cases we see nowadays. More than half of working women are not motivated or supported by their families to help balance their worlds ; which is again a whole different topic to think about. But the side effects I am talking about are the homes where they get total support and commitment from every single person in the house and yet they hide behind ideas of women liberation and freedom. Maternal needs and instincts are conveniently bypassed and there is a constant competition for who has done the most in TO-DO list and who has to take the next turn in the parental duty. Changing diaper, feeding kids, helping in homework, helping them brush, reading books with them, taking kids to dance practices, rehearsals, sports, watch them play, learn, and grow have become chores in the TO DO list that accompany the real chores like cooking, laundry, and vacuuming. 

I have not seen a single person fight with their spouse to get more time with kids unless they are divorced and have to work around legally to spend time with their kids.  

 Its true that neither being a striking, shining role model at work and a being a good parent are mutually exclusive nor does being a full time stay at home parent guarantees any kind of parental perfection. What matters the most ; working or non working; is the desire to be with your kids. The desire to let them go yet watch them grow, taking bigger, better, and stronger strides, seeing them fail over and over again yet patiently wait for that one time when they succeed, the desire to be there in the crowd and give an assurance that when things get ugly they know exactly where to find you; the desire to know their aspirations rather than provide them with yours. This desire , obsession, and  commitment makes you a better parent.