My childhood for the very part has been a quiet period for the most part with practically no friends at all. One sister and one younger brother, my only friends who were indifferent to all the issues I had.
Stuttering or stammering has been stuck with me for a long time. The earliest I can remember of my childhood was tremendous pain, anxiety, racing heartbeats like I just ran a 400 meters race, blood gushing through every part of my face ,waiting to burst off my skin., ears listening to the eternal black box, absolutely no voice signals passed through ; all this when anyone spoke to me , expecting a reply back.
I used to keep looking at their face trying hard to pull the words out of my mouth, wishing it were like a magician's ribbon trick where he keeps pulling a never ending ribbon out of a hat. But its not the same. When a 4 or 5 year old is blasted with questions one after the other, stared at with squinted brows as though with the power of their eyes they could magically make me utter a word; That indeed is pressure.
I always wondered how does it feel to talk normal , like everyone else. How does it feel? Would I ever be able to enjoy an effortless speech? I always felt there was physically something wrong with me, some surgery or some minor medical treatment might cure the problem.
Some said this problem arises because your brain thinks faster than the speed at which you can talk. Makes sense but for a little kid it meant nothing. Some say keep marbles in your mouth when you talk. Some say rub your tongue to make it light. Lot of suggestions....
Days, weeks years passed by. Even at the age of 20, I was stuck with it and was so sure I would never ever know the feeling of talking effortlessly. Nevertheless I carried lot of pride for myself and never felt any less than anyone around. I did what I could do the best. The best of whatever came in my path.
My curiosity to experience a different world made me take a big decision ; to venture out of my country and hence made me land here , The United States of America. My first step in this country, at the airport I breathed a different air. I found myself surrounded with people who have different accents, speak English but very hard to understand let aside talking that way !!
The first time I spoke to an immigration person, the gentle smile on his face, the respectful look that he gave me when he smiled took me with an awe. I was struck with a bolt or a witches magic spell and I spoke my first ever sentence to him without him "LIP reading" or "TRYING" to understand me. The most welcoming gift I could ever get from a strange new country. A chance of experiencing being a regular person with normal speech ; It was so overwhelming. Then on there was no turning back.
Its been more than 10 years now, I cannot say I forgot anything from my past but now when I look back I wonder what went wrong in my own country which is right in this country. I wonder did I really have a problem or was it induced by people ? I got lucky I came here and could experience the difference. What about all those kids who live their entire life not knowing whether they really have a speech problem or no.
I think what helped me here is the freedom, respect and acceptance from people. No one cares what way you talk. Talking is a mode of communication. There is no right or wrong way to talk. Its that plain and simple. No one judges you for your accent, style, influences, speech.
I remember the faces people made when they waited impatiently to finish my sentence. Those faces were seen no more. Speak whichever way you want, however you want, there is absolutely no judging.
I did a small research of my own and based on my memory I tried to find an answer to - How might have all this started?
This is a serious note to all the parents who have a toddler learning to talk. Parents who think their kids might have a speech problem. Do not correct them. Do not interrupt them. Do not try to finish their sentence. Give them all the time they need to finish their sentence however busy you are. Remember they are still learning the art that you mastered a long time back, Be modest. Most importantly, even if you feel its cute, do not imitate them.
A toddler doesn't know what is the right way to communicate. They learn from people around them. Their behavior , actions, reactions is all influenced by surrounding people. But obvious if you start imitating them because you think its cute, they think that is the right way to talk and it registers in their brain. Few months down the line when you start correcting them, it confuses them and indirectly they register in their brain again that they are not talking right. Any one single person laughing at the way they talk , which apparently was cute few months back, triggers the fear and anxiety starts to build up which slowly increases and creates a problem which should never have been there.
Any normal human with so-called normal speech, bombarded by questions, not given enough time to reply back would also start stuttering. This is an act of some kind of bullying too.
Not saying all speech problems are "Created" but for most part are "Enhanced" by the pressure from society and people around.
Stuttering or stammering has been stuck with me for a long time. The earliest I can remember of my childhood was tremendous pain, anxiety, racing heartbeats like I just ran a 400 meters race, blood gushing through every part of my face ,waiting to burst off my skin., ears listening to the eternal black box, absolutely no voice signals passed through ; all this when anyone spoke to me , expecting a reply back.
I used to keep looking at their face trying hard to pull the words out of my mouth, wishing it were like a magician's ribbon trick where he keeps pulling a never ending ribbon out of a hat. But its not the same. When a 4 or 5 year old is blasted with questions one after the other, stared at with squinted brows as though with the power of their eyes they could magically make me utter a word; That indeed is pressure.
I always wondered how does it feel to talk normal , like everyone else. How does it feel? Would I ever be able to enjoy an effortless speech? I always felt there was physically something wrong with me, some surgery or some minor medical treatment might cure the problem.
Some said this problem arises because your brain thinks faster than the speed at which you can talk. Makes sense but for a little kid it meant nothing. Some say keep marbles in your mouth when you talk. Some say rub your tongue to make it light. Lot of suggestions....
Days, weeks years passed by. Even at the age of 20, I was stuck with it and was so sure I would never ever know the feeling of talking effortlessly. Nevertheless I carried lot of pride for myself and never felt any less than anyone around. I did what I could do the best. The best of whatever came in my path.
My curiosity to experience a different world made me take a big decision ; to venture out of my country and hence made me land here , The United States of America. My first step in this country, at the airport I breathed a different air. I found myself surrounded with people who have different accents, speak English but very hard to understand let aside talking that way !!
The first time I spoke to an immigration person, the gentle smile on his face, the respectful look that he gave me when he smiled took me with an awe. I was struck with a bolt or a witches magic spell and I spoke my first ever sentence to him without him "LIP reading" or "TRYING" to understand me. The most welcoming gift I could ever get from a strange new country. A chance of experiencing being a regular person with normal speech ; It was so overwhelming. Then on there was no turning back.
Its been more than 10 years now, I cannot say I forgot anything from my past but now when I look back I wonder what went wrong in my own country which is right in this country. I wonder did I really have a problem or was it induced by people ? I got lucky I came here and could experience the difference. What about all those kids who live their entire life not knowing whether they really have a speech problem or no.
I think what helped me here is the freedom, respect and acceptance from people. No one cares what way you talk. Talking is a mode of communication. There is no right or wrong way to talk. Its that plain and simple. No one judges you for your accent, style, influences, speech.
I remember the faces people made when they waited impatiently to finish my sentence. Those faces were seen no more. Speak whichever way you want, however you want, there is absolutely no judging.
I did a small research of my own and based on my memory I tried to find an answer to - How might have all this started?
This is a serious note to all the parents who have a toddler learning to talk. Parents who think their kids might have a speech problem. Do not correct them. Do not interrupt them. Do not try to finish their sentence. Give them all the time they need to finish their sentence however busy you are. Remember they are still learning the art that you mastered a long time back, Be modest. Most importantly, even if you feel its cute, do not imitate them.
A toddler doesn't know what is the right way to communicate. They learn from people around them. Their behavior , actions, reactions is all influenced by surrounding people. But obvious if you start imitating them because you think its cute, they think that is the right way to talk and it registers in their brain. Few months down the line when you start correcting them, it confuses them and indirectly they register in their brain again that they are not talking right. Any one single person laughing at the way they talk , which apparently was cute few months back, triggers the fear and anxiety starts to build up which slowly increases and creates a problem which should never have been there.
Any normal human with so-called normal speech, bombarded by questions, not given enough time to reply back would also start stuttering. This is an act of some kind of bullying too.
Not saying all speech problems are "Created" but for most part are "Enhanced" by the pressure from society and people around.
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