A Father!!

Men are more open hearted in accepting new people and new changes in life.

I say this not based on any statistics or research. This is totally my opinion based on my experience and my understanding about relations and life as whole.

Mother's instinct, motherly love ; most of the books , most of the talks are about how selfless, sacrificing and dedicated Mother's love is. There are tons of matter spread everywhere about this sacred bond of 'mother and child'.

9 months of togetherness, five or more months of movements, kicks, twirls and punches make us welcome motherhood with very slight delay and practically no hesitation. Women/Moms literally take nine months to get there where Men/father arrive in a flash of a moment. Given a chance, how many women in this world would be able to relate to a newborn ( not given birth by them physically) just the way a man does when he becomes a father?

This probably is all about how women are and how men aren't.

--Dedicated to all Fathers

Perspective

Most of us have heard about these fables in our childhood and Each of them have something to teach us.

every story has more than what we were told . This is what I realized just recently.

Lets consider "The Lion and the mouse".

The lesson that we learnt was 'Even the weak and small may be of help to those much mightier than themselves.'

Second point of view would be :'Never be afraid to explain or reason or confront those much mightier than themselves'.

Likewise lets consider our next candidate;'The boy who cried wolf'

The lesson that we learnt was 'There is no believing a liar, even when he speaks the truth. So donot lie '.

True to the core but there is second side which can be considered. 'Offer help if asked for; you may not know this time it might be for real'.

I am very sure there are tons of stories out there which can offer more than what has been obtained from them.

There is always more than what meets the eye in real life situations too.

We as an individual choose the perspective to look at it.

Unlisted Milestone !

There are few milestones that are not listed in the standard milestones list that most of the parents and pediatricians adhere to.

To care for other person, To love someone, To do something nice for some one and many more (yet to be discovered by me..) aspects that do not depend on a kids age. There is no such hard and fast rule for them to achieve that milestone. It can happen at any point in their life.

But a parent can always bookmark them as and when it happens.

Naomi was two and I still remember her expressing her care for me when I was pregnant with my second one. I was happy and marked it in my Baby book the day she hit "THE" first milestone of caring.

Days pass by and I wondered how and when will my second one surprise me.:)

and the day dawned.

Naomi; sick with viral fever; was lying in bed after her school. Just like any other day, Ronit was busy playing with his cars and trains etc. He did notice his DIDI is not playing with him and lying on sofa covered in a blanket.

He knew thats not like her and something was wrong. She was not chasing him around the house; she was not fighting with him for her favorite toy.

He kept asking me MAMA.. DIDI PLAY . I got it. and was basking in the glory that YESSsss my boy can now identify if someone is sick. I was happy with this itself and dint anticipate the cherry topping that followed to it.

In a while ; I saw him heading towards his DIDI with a bowl and spoon saying DIDI SOUP.....

That was a big touchdown to his first milestone.:)

Brother Sister Day !

Raksha Bandhan or "Brother -Sister Day" like Naomi says it; has always had a special place in my heart. Give that credit to my crazy lil brother who loves me head over heels ( like any other brother would do.. of course). This relation has been very special to me and I hope I could pass it on to the next generation.:) ( I almost feel aged and historic here.. :))
With absolutely no expectations and with no explanation from my side; I got my kids ready for the day. Naomi adored all the jewellery and her face lit up when she got to know that she could wear all the jewellery at once.:) .
I kept my narration short and told her that she has to tie the rakhi to her brother and he would in turn give her a gift. Magic word was GIFT here:) ; so much so that I claim to know my daughter so well.
Everything went well; we took pictures and all ; the day ended cool.
Next day lunch time ; when I was getting khichadi ready for both kids; Naomi ran upstairs giving me a thought, she wants to give me a tough time for the meal. I ignored and thought I would catch up with her once I am done getting the food ready. In 2 minutes she rushed through me straight to Ronit was throned comfortably on his high chair. She had a bib in her hand and she put it around his neck.
Immediate feeling that came to my mind " Oh how sweet..!! and thoughtful of course.. "; I smiled and got the food to table.
My defensive lawyer, that is what we call her as Naomi has excellent logic and defensive explanation to everything; went on with her chats and said
"Mommy, Remember I put rakhi yesterday on brother sister day to Roni; that means I have to take care of him; if he eats Khana and drinks some water ; he might drop something on his shirt. He will get wet and he might fall sick. I am his sister I have to take care of him ; RIGHT MOMMY?"
Tears ; just as they eagerly wait in any mom's eyes; rolled down my cheeks.
I was so proud of her. Small ceremony but she grasped the gist of it and most important thing she did it by herself.
I never imagined something so small could impact and shape up a child's mind in this way.!

Just like Purvi aunty

Naomi has always been a non fussy eater. She could eat very much everything without any complaints. She always tried new things and if she dint like it at all ;she would not eat anymore. But unlike the other kid of her age she always went for the first bite and gave a try .

I always had the feeling she dint know anything about taste.. She could eat food with no salt too.

This was until I visited my friend Purvi who has an almost 18 month old. We had planned to stay there whole day. As a good mother I fed both my kids ( I have a second one 18 month old too ) a heavy breakfast before I reached her house. This is what almost all moms do right??:)

As soon as we landed there;purvi had HUGE assorted collection of delicacies for our breakfast and lunch. TO MY EYES it was an unbelievable sight. My kids kept slurping down everything that was cooking and actually drooling with greed as they saw more coming in.. !!

That day brought tears to my eyes. All this time I felt I was doing enough or may be more that what I could do to make healthy yet tasty dishes for my kids. I always felt I stretched myself to the last edge to get the best of me. But as its well said; you are the best until u meet someone better than you!!..

I have incorporated lot of dishes what we had that day and now try to do more on the food stuff but the punch line that always follows with naomi's hungry eyes and excitingly thrilled face when she smells something good cooking in kitchen...
"Mommy, Are u cooking something JUST LIKE PURVI AUNTY does?"

Dear Love...

We have walked together in different phases of life
supporting each other, holding hands , lending shoulders.
we have tried our best to fulfill our roles
as a parent , as a spouse , as a child , as a sibling
but walking together we have looked ahead of us so much
that we have forgotten to look AT each other ;
its been a while having held BOTH our hands
and glanced into our hearts; gazed at each other like there is no tomorrow.
In the course of life we have lost someone in us,
A person always ready with naughty pranks
who would blow a kiss or two every now and then
who dint mind tagging along to every place no matter where and when.

This valentines day lets take some time out
enjoy a cup of coffee and walk a few miles
and awaken that silly person in us
who has been sleeping for quite a while.

Jai Ho

slumdog millionaire the name goes
movie so talked about and praised by the lot
some got an oscar or two some got a major breakthru
some got the honor of being involved in the making
of a movie ruthlessly honest and true
I wonder all the while
and I hope with my heart sincere
someone gives a second look at all the kids who live there
provide a ray of hope, show them the way
that leads to a better life far far away..

Parents

There are tons of rights in USA ; child rights, animal rights and many more. Not sure if anyone has parents rights union or something and why not.
Just like small kids are to be loved, are to be taken care of, to be understood, nourished well nurtured well ,spent time with, taken for outings, family dinners, spent fun time together ; parents are like small kids too.
Old age is almost like going back to your child self. They enjoy being pampered. They love to feel important and wanted; they have their own stubborness like kids; they do throw tantrums:). Never the less parents need to be taken care of. Is there any law that would check on how a son or daughter take care of their parents.
Photos are uploaded on internets; phone calls put us closer to people. But do the parents really know the complications of internet ? Why do they have to wait for someone to come and start the system and get the online pictures. Small things but they affect our parents lives a lot.
Sometimes its hard to put ourselves in their shoes but isnt it true when we were small they never hesitated to do any sacrifice for giving us a better life; they gave us their unconditional love no matter what happened with their days and work.

Its high time people start understanding the concept of BEING A GOOD CHILD just as much as they try hard to understand PARENTING!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are not my mommy any more!!

There are tons of quotes and one liners that bring tears of pride and happiness roll down your cheeks when your kid uses it for the first time. But as per some wise person said.. the total of energy, good and evil etc etc remains the same in the universe.
Likewise there are some quotes that of course make ur eyes moist but also tickle u at the same time.
Few days back; after a long day with soccer training, gymnastics class, biking and shopping when we finally made it home safe and sound with minor yells and grabs. Naomi had a cookie spree coming along with no time to wait till dinner was cooked. I dint mind either ; what a big deal weekend is here so let her have couple of those chocolate chips. Agreed for a couple more till the dinner got cold enough for her to eat. Then when the last cry for couple of more cookies came along ; my patience, virtue, motherly instinct to put STOP to a bad habit (at the wrong time ofcourse) emerged out and there I went and firmly said NO MORE COOKIES and started to feed her.
POP came the quote "you are not my mommy anymore!!!"
With every bone in my body aching to the core; dragging myself together I gave a silent look at her. With very little energy to reason pros and cons of the cookies at dinner time; I managed to say something I dont even remember but probably not heard by her:)
After a brief pause with glances at my face Naomi decided to change her statement and said " I am sorry mommy; I love you; I dint mean it".
I was so proud of myself for giving that meaningful look; made my daughter successfully reconsider what she said.. I was basking in the glory of a one of a kind win.. that suddenly was dropped flat on the ground when she added..
"Its okay mommy; you are my mommy and I love you... If u are not my mommy then i wonder who will cook food for me and put me to sleep everyday"
Words and expressions went far from extinct for a long time that night!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy will grow up someday!

All say girls talk earlier and talk a lot. This is kind of true about my daughter naomi too. Recently she learnt that she has to say something to console if the other person is feeling bad or is crying. Funny enough she watched me one day trying to get a jar from the top most shelf in my kitchen. Me being lazy was avoiding to get my hands on the stepper we have.
Finally after my tons of fruitless efforts I gave a big sigh and reached out to my stepper from the laundry.
Naomi was watching all this! Promptly after my BIG sigh she goes "Mommy dont be sad, one day you will be as tall as Pappy, we both will grow up if we eat our vegetables!!!!!!!!"
I indeed had no words for her:)